herbal allies
Winter is coming. It’s the big slow down. Here in the Algarve, the rainy season has begun but still, the sun comes out most days and we walk around unbundled and warm, grateful for such delicious November weather. Then, the nights get cold and we hang out in front of the fire dancing, playing cards, chess, writing and practicing our sharing circle skills- speaking from the heart and active listening.
The big slow down lends itself well to the homestead appreciation arts. We stock the home apothecary with herbs and make sure we have plenty of fire cider, honey, propolis and fermented garlic. We make slow, thick and earthy soups and serve them along the hardy greens growing in the garden. We make, burn and play with our massage candles and steam treat our colds with herbal teas and salty herbal baths. We putz around the garden watching the beets and brassicas grow and half-heartedly engage in the endless battle with the catapillars.
And we practice loving slow and loving long. We practice our magic and our medicine and we do it as a family. Reverence without dogma and reveling in the magical mundane.
November in the Algarve
Winter, and particularly the holiday season, is a time when a certain unnamed sadness can blanket our hearts. Remember Charlie Brown in his wise reticence? “I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.” And how we are supposed to feel? Happy. Fulfilled. Safe. Joyous. And perhaps we are… mostly. But still a void remains… that beautiful darkness from where all the light is born. Today, I extend to you this invitation: To embody the joy, hope and celebration of the season all the while honoring the void where our losses and grief reside. Let’s not force ourselves this year. If you’re feeling happy, smile. If you need to cry, cry. Let’s be with what is this coming month- without judgement or hierarchy.
This is my intention for this holiday season: To be gentle with my emotions as they arise and be with them as I would a welcomed friend. To keep them good company until they are ready to go and to thank them for reminding me of the richness of my life. Loss and grief mean I have loved. And despite the pain, the love I have continues to grow.
The Rapier Men
Of course, the holiday season is time for family and earlier this month we went to Italy to visit Skeets’ dad and his wife who have been living outside of Florence near the birthplace of Leonardo di Vinci. It was rainy for the week we were there, but we enjoyed catching up with them and overlooking the absolute beauty of the Tuscan countryside. I like the Italians. They’re hard but soft and their language sounds like how delicious, warm hot chocolate tastes. It’s utter luxury for my ears. Skeets looks very much like his dad and it’s interesting to see how similar they can be yet remain worlds apart. It makes me miss my dad a little. And I sit with that.
We also started a new collaborative construction project this month! As I neared the end of my Somatic Sex Educator’s practicum I began looking for a studio space to practice from. I’ve been seeing clients at our home or at theirs which has been working just fine, but I wanted to find a space that was private and dedicated to this purpose. A beautiful human and fellow parent from P’s school mentioned that she was also interested in a place to practice her craniosacral work and we decided to ask our manly partners for help in constructing a container house studio that we will share. It will be located on their gorgeous property close by and will be cozy and beautiful and just right until I’m ready for something else. The plans were drawn, the container has been paid for and cut for doors and windows and will be delivered to the land next week. We hope to celebrate it’s grand opening at the end of December.
November at the farmer’s market
I’ve been very busy this month seeing clients and as of this writing, I have only two more sessions until I am certified. It’s been an honor to be guide and witness on people’s journey of erotic healing, growth and discovery and I’m super curious to see how my role continues to fall into place in this community as time goes on. I’ve received a lot of positive feedback from clients and this keeps me tender and patient with myself as I continue learning, practicing and figuring out how I want to add to my education. It is my experience that healing and pleasure sometimes start with noticing tension and beliefs and habits and honoring the wisdom of the body as it tells us “I’ve had enough” or “I want something different” and with the courage to say so. I practice noticing and expressing these things with clients through games and meditations and breath work and touch explorations designed to keep them fully present and active as receivers. We practice gratitude and and celebrate honesty in all it’s vulnerability and even though clients come sometimes to address a “problem” the modality often feels very empowering and enriching instead of making people feel sick or broken. It’s fascinating work. Personally, I’ve experienced much healing, liberation, insight, ecstasy and release from these practices so it’s extra sweet to be able to share them with the folx from my new community.
I also got my first paid writing job this month!! Does this mean I can officially call myself a writer?! It’s an article for HerbMentor (www.learningherbs.com) and the category I chose to pitch from was “heart/love”. The process of writing for money in accordance with specific guidelines provided was unique indeed. Short sentences, short paragraphs and being especially useful to readers aren’t exactly my fortes, but it was good to see creativity come alive not despite restrictions but because of them. I turned in the article a few days ago and if they don’t hate it, I should be published in February. I am considering how to move forward with my writing goals in 2020. Do I continue my monthly blog? Do I make a real push to do more freelance writing? When will I really start my book? All undecided questions still, but for today, I take a moment to celebrate the progress Ive made in honing my thoughts and my voice and in my sometimes clumsy attempts to choke down the fear of sharing them.
Friend by the sea
Lastly, for the month of November, we are enjoying a visit from a sexbod classmate of mine with whom I share a certain kind of affinity. It’s lovely to have another powerful woman in the home and intriguing to entertain different dynamics as we practice the arts of living and loving together. There is much in her I see mirrored back at me and what scares me the most, perhaps, is the vulnerability of someone who is also so stalwart, tenacious and bold. It’s a daring journey we’re both on and it’s empowering to have met another audacious ally.
The wind howls outside tonight as the cat gives a scowl at my choice of written words on the screen before settling into the warmth of my lap. The boy dreams in one room, a friend laughs in another and me and the man share knowing looks that all is well at least for now. I send my mom some love in her ocean-front home on the other coast and I think of all the friends and family who I haven’t seen in almost a year since we’ve moved here to Portugal. There is a longing and a fullness. An ache for my griefs and good fortunes.
dark and light
May we stay gentle with ourselves and each other this season. Be well, my loves.