Portrait of the author from EEP session
I got so busy when I started my Somatic Sexology practicum at the end of September that I wasn’t able to make it to Thursday morning African dance class in Aljezur for nearly two months. Finally, I took a break from working when Emily came to visit and it was there, walking into that space of smiling women, that I knew what to write about this month. I’ve known these women for not very long and most of them I don’t know very well, but on seeing me again after two months away, they greeted me with such pleasure and warmth to see me again that I was truly taken aback. Petra and I made fast friends when we met back in March and after we attended one of the conscious sexuality and wild womanhood retreats together, our bond was sealed. She is a wild and whimsical Spaniard who’s been living in southern Portugal for nearly 15 years and on seeing me today she begins to ask me about the Christmas market in town.
“Remember last year when we danced there?”
“I wasn’t here last Christmas,” I respond a bit surprised.
“What?! Yes you were. I remember….” She persists.
“I wasn’t! We arrived in late January, “
“Wow.” She looks stunned. “It feels like you’ve been here with us forever.”
Those words washed over my whole being and seeped into my heart in a way that she could not have known.
December marks our twelfth month in Portugal and I want to write about the women who have come into my life in various ways since moving here. I want to use this space to bring them into the light, to uplift their grit and grace and to sing a song of sisterly worship for the gifts they’ve bestowed onto me this last year. These women are my mentors and muses, lovers and teachers, partners and friends. l moved across the world in a rebellious act of faith with no guarantees for friendships or community and these women have each, in their way, shown me their hearts and have shared with me the power of the extended coven. I present them to you now in no particular order.
Poppy Burr
Mentor
Poppy is a medical herbalist and a fellow Capricorn. She’s sharp and cute, inspired but grounded, deep and practical. After stalking the area herbalists on the internet looking for a possible mentor, I zeroed in on her and sent her a hopeful email offering myself to her and her practice as free labor however she might need in exchange for access to her wisdom and process. It was a fortuitous time as she had had a new baby but was having the seemingly incongruent desire to build herself a garden. She wanted more time working with the plants themselves as she works primarily in tinctures, and since I’ve spent the last ten years of my life working with plants, it seemed like a good opportunity for both of us. Since I started volunteering with her in May we’ve put in a little garden where she will grow sage, comfrey, yarrow, calendula and St. John’s Wort and have spent hours talking client cases and the subtle and overt dynamics of herbal medicine. We do experiments on ourselves to learn more intimately about one herb at a time and we read from mystical books as well as more modern sources to support our thoughts and knowing. Recently she was inspired to start making medicinal teas so we have been formulating, blending and reveling together in the beauty, possibilities and practicalities of working with dried herbs- something I’m very passionate about. She treats me like an equal but she is the captain of the ship and I am thrilled just to be on board and help however I can. Recently, I revealed to her my desire and intention to open a combination apothecary, embodiment studio, art gallery and community space. It was an edgy moment for me because it is important that I have her blessing as a mentee to continue on my own path and not feel like I am stepping on her toes. She received it with genuine interest and there is a hope in my heart that perhaps we can collaborate in some way on the project. I love my time with Poppy. She shows me how science and spirit come alive and play in the dance of healing through herbal medicine.
Arantxa Joseph
Muse
All over Aljezur there are fliers for a local African dance class. In February, my mom and I decided to give it a shot and Arantxa is the teacher. Here are some words that easily come to mind when I think of Arantxa: ALIVE. VIVACIOUS. POWERFUL. MISCHIEVOUS. ENERGETIC. MYSTERIOUS. PLAYFUL. She is a petite and strong, dark skinned, mixed- raced, multi-lingual, child-of-the-world, powerhouse and she has played a crucial role as muse in my first year here in Portugal. Thursday morning African dance is like church for me. She always welcomes me and my mom with a huge smile and hug and makes me feel like I am just the person she’s been wanting to see. It isn’t unusual for me to cry a little in class at the sheer joy and release of it all. Moving my body in these powerful ways to the wild beats of live drums can absolutely disintegrate anything that’s been bothering me and leave me high for days. Arantxa dances like the gods and goddesses themselves are moving through her. Her spirit shines wildly from her face and her body moves like the earth depends on it. I knew right away that whatever Arantxa’s got, I needed some too. Arantxa is who invited me to my first wild womanhood sex magic retreat which invariably informed the course of my path. She is who introduced me to Catia, the dark and enigmatic Portuguese mystic who leads these retreats and who I also regard as muse and teacher. She is an enthusiastic supporter of my work and my creations and when I meditate on my future endeavors, she is always there. She has unknowingly inspired my personal tantra practice to come alive in new ways. Sometimes she reminds me of my sister and I hold her in my heart in a similar way- as a wise, older sister. There something in her soft skin, smile and curly hair that reminds me to remember with love. Arantxa inspires me to express and worship in many different ways and to play in the shadows and much as the light.
Emily Royce
Amorous Cohort
And then there’s Emily. Emily is a stately, stout and gregarious glamazon from Michigan who I first met online through the first module of our Somatic Sexology training. Energetically, we connected immediately and for the first few months of the online portion of our training I was always interested and intrigued by her experiences, insights and curiosities. During our in-person Module 2 intensive in Glastonbury we met for the first time face to face and had a conversation about the level of mutual attraction we were experiencing. The vibe was somewhere between intrigue and uncertain awkwardness but still, a definite camaraderie remained. It was a bit chaotic those two weeks in England. There was a lot of learning and practicing and processing. There were rituals and emotions and celebrations and catharsis. Through it all I remained simultaneously drawn to and cautioned by her intensity and vulnerabilities. We remained in close contact as peer support colleagues as we moved through our final practicums and somewhere in that time our friendship took a turn towards the sensuous. The rest is a story for another time, but I can tell you now the ways for which I am grateful to her. Emily showed me a shadow of mine in a way I had not seen before. She has put me on a path of discovering the root of my desire for control and to evolve the ways in which in manifests. She has lead me to consider the subtle differences in creating my reality and in co-creating it and how I can better use my gifts for a more communal good. Emily reminded me of my love of being a part of a woman’s pleasure. She is unique in my life as fellow sex witch coven-mate and thus is someone I can have conversations and experiences with that are unlike what I have with most other people. Emily makes me want to get creative.
Katie Sarra
Teacher
Katie is the most well learned sex worker you might ever meet. She’s probably the kinkiest and most unassuming one, too. In one story she’ll explain to you how the time she was paid to pee all over someone’s body lead her to understand more deeply the psychology of eros and how kink and fantasy point to biochemical and somatic needs hidden in one’s core erotic theme. She has long, soft, strawberry hair and an innocent and mischievously cherubic grin and she happily and oh-so-politely spent the last seven months schooling me and my classmates on the neuroscience and somatics of sex, eroticism, self pleasuring, anal massage, anatomical and pleasure mapping, erotic massage, scar tissue work, kink and more for our Somatic Sexology coursework. I have such love for Katie. She’s the fearless front woman of the Sea School of Embodiment and she’s taken Joseph Kramer’s work to fascinating places through her commitment to mind/body science and the creation of deep, insightful embodiment practices like Body Poem which I use often in my sessions with clients. She is mysteriously forthright, cheery but stern, light but fiery. Being around her just makes me feel like making mischief and I feel super lucky to have had her as my teacher and guide through this most fascinating journey. From her I’ve learned the art of non-judgmental, compassionate witness and the beauty of reclaiming unashamed curiosity and spontaneity.
Yvette Gent
Partner/ Fairy God-friend
“HELLO GORGEOUS!” Yvette says with wide-eyed, ecstatic conviction. This is how she always greets me whether in person or in a voice message and it makes me feel amazing. There’s just something extra special about Yvette that makes the vivaciousness of her personal magic hit deep. She’s a Story Forest mum and for most of our first year here she was the head office witch there. During our transition it was always such a pleasure to see her because she made us feel like she had known and loved us forever. She is warm, with ancient stars in her eyes, and is bursting with love and life. At any second I wouldn’t be surprised to see her explode into a cloud of eco-friendly rainbow glitter alternative and rebirth herself into a laughing buddha-ess at the head of an orgy of enthusiastically consenting angels. She’s a spiritual medium to the dead, a practitioner of cranio-sacral healing and a new business and creative partner of sorts. She and her lovely husband bought a beautiful piece of land half way in-between our house and Story Forest and there we have embarked upon our first collaborative building project here in Portugal- a 20ft shipping container turned DIY healing studio space where she and I will see clients and practice our crafts. I am embarrassingly giddy with the joy of finding such an amazing partner to collaborate with. That she was so easily open and willing to embark on this project with me makes me feel connected, seen, respected and loved. I intend to use this space for 12 months whilst I look into something that could hold my larger vision and to be coming into our second year with this amazing comrade and space to practice in is so encouraging and inspiring. She is newly pregnant now, and I can’t wait to watch her body chance and see her mother a small baby with all that light and love. Yvette teaches me what it looks like to shine your light bright and to trust in the signs.
Angelina Farmer
Head Sorceress at Story Forest
I don’t actually know Angelina very well but she is a big reason we’ve settled in this specific area of Portugal. What I do know is this: She’s somewhere between 38-300 with the mischievousness of 8 year old and the eyes of an 80 year old. She was educated in the UK and worked as head of a massive school of two thousand pupils in Qatar. Throughout her experiences, she collected models of education that spoke to her and that were creative and nurtured the love of learning innately found in children. She was on her way to a primitive DIY school in the jungles of Bolivia when a friend offered her to check out southern Portugal. She came, fell in love and set out creating her school with the help of some of the other creative renegade internationals drawn to this area and to her. Last summer when we came to take the tour, I was so impressed by her vision of what schooling could be, of her vision of children and their place in the web of human wisdom and by what the group had created in less than two years since opening that I easily and happily signed us up began the realness of moving overseas. This was the type of school I had been wanting for P and I was moved to tears to have found it. Angelina works tirelessly in the sun and dirt and rain to keep the magic flowing. She’s stern when needed, quick and generous with a smiles and hugs and stouthearted in her passion. Watching her lead the morning circle is a beautiful thing. There’s singing, dancing, tai chi, meditation and group sharing and every time I stay to see it all, I am in awe of her and feel so lucky that we found this place. Angelina knows magic and she shows me what dedication to children and to creative vision looks like.
Several of the Story Forest teachers and mums have made easy friends and neighbors. It’s a small town feel around here and some of them, like me, have left their native homelands looking for something different for themselves and their families. Some of them have left their friends and families behind and so have adopted each other in some ways as a rag-tag group of comrades and cohorts in this willful and intentional experiment of shirking the imposition of mainstream expectations and investing ourselves in something we can more co-create. The cultural and individual mix of them has made my life here interesting indeed and I look forward to getting to know many of them more as friends and community mates.
Then there are the friends from back home who I’ve grown somehow closer with in our distance. Maria, Liz and Kaylyn haven’t missed a beat with me and their continued sisterhood shows me the beauty and intrigue of watching women I love evolve and mature over time. Together Renee and I have lived millions of lives together and it seems like nothing I can do shocks or appalls her. She’s always loved me, even when she’s hated me, and I can be real with her like no-one else. Jessica, Maggie and Casey have each shown me themselves, their stories, secrets and strengths in ways beyond what I saw and knew when we lived in SA together. I regret that we didn’t spend more time together when I lived in the same city, but I am thankful for their continued presence as strong sisters in my life.
And finally, La Isla Bonita queen herself, my mom. Still gutsy, determined and active as ever, these last twelve months my mom has stood by the twists and turns of my life with support and love while still trying to recreate her own life path as a not young, but not-yet-too-old widow in a far away land. It isn’t lost on me that it wasn’t my mom’s idea to move here. The inconveniences, frustrations and curiosities of living in a foreign country aren’t for the meek of spirit and my mom continues to impress me with her resilience and iron will. From her I’ve seen that one lifetime can take many, many shapes, that it will surprise you and that you can learn and grow and continue to discover if you keep an open mind.
Goodbye, 2019. I’ll always remember you as the year we took a chance and moved to Portugal. As the year that blessed the beginning of our journey with a lunar eclipse and ended in the quiet mountains on the corner of western Europe overlooking the wild seas. Peaceful and blessed be, my beautiful friends, lovers, comrades and family. Thank you to those of you who have kept in touch, read my blog, loved me from afar or generally encouraged me throughout my way. It’s been an honor to be a part of each of your lives. Come visit me!!!
I am looking forward to the days ahead where we harvest the fruits of seeds already sown and sit together at our communal table of abundance, creativity and the reclaimed expressions of our shared divine. May we meet each other there, year after year, as we continue the privileged work of healing ourselves, our lineages, our relations, our lands and our souls. May we celebrate the victories along the way and lose ourselves often in the spells of the sensuous. And may we continue to be aspiring masters of our own magical mundanes.
I love you all.
