Infiltrating some performance art.
It’s Wednesday morning somewhere in the foothills of the mountains of the Algarve. I wake up vibrating still from yesterday and I take my time scanning my body looking for what needs attention. I’ve tweaked my sciatic nerve again and although the pain in my right hip is very faint after a night’s rest I can tell it will bother me again today. Disappointment to be injured….….deep breath…....mmmmmmmmmmm….. send some self soothing energy there, let it slowly fade away for now and relax into that precious, peaceful space that only exists upon morning’s first moments of consciousness, before the day’s surprises are revealed. Already there are moans of pleasure coming from the bell tents around me and off in the near distance I can hear the familiar music which lets me know that Kundalini has already begun. They’re about a quarter of the way into the practice… almost to the transition from shaking to dancing. The smell of coconut oil and frankincense still lingers under the covers and I offer to myself a small smile, amused already and grateful for what this day will bring.
I am at a tantric community/ ecological restoration project called Awakeland for a weeklong training/experience hosted by a modern mystery school by the name of ISTA- the International School of the Temple Arts. ISTA is a global network of mystics, healers and guides who facilitate experiences designed to peel away layers of beliefs and habits to discover pathways to the divine. This peeling away is achieved through a variety of meditations, psychological explorations, dance, shamanic practices and rituals with the intention of interrupting our usual patterns of behavior and working through the distortions of our humanity to reach higher states of consciousness.
Lesson #1: Understand the mind/body connection
Day four was dedicated to exploration of the feminine mysteries, whose qualities are embodied in each of us regardless of the sex we were born with. I spent much of my life feeling very in touch with my masculine and it has been empowering to explore and hone those qualities, but in recent years I’ve come more into the fullness of the power of my feminine. It felt like coming home to practice rituals of sisterhood, of blood mysteries and oracle sharing, but was unique to have the brothers join us as sisters in those rituals to support the nurturing of the female within themselves. The day before we explored embodiments of the masculine and we sisters had the honor of silently witnessing a brother’s circle. The honesty was staggering. There were moments of demons and there was lucid depth and even when we felt shocked and saddened and proud and inspired by what we heard, the overarching sentiment was acceptance for the person in the truth of moment in which they stood. It was a practice in letting go of attachment to static words, and listening to the essence of what was said, listening for the deeper source of the emotions expressed. So often we judge and are judged. So often we aren’t able to find the similarities we share and fall into the trap of us vs them. Can we find the common threads that connect us? Can weave something beautiful and long lasting from them? There is much to do to heal the wound between men and women and we have to be willing to step outside of our comfort zones to find the empathy that leads to ally-ship. The days are long and intense as we explore taboos, shatter ideas about right and wrong, and celebrate with rituals that leave no part of the human experience unwelcome, unexposed and unexplored.
Esteva, queen of the Algarve.
ISTA is a controversial organization. There is not a set-in-stone transmission of knowledge because the facilitators come from unique life paths, from many cultures and traditions and all of their perspectives and offerings are honored. Many people repeat the training more than once but it is impossible to have the same experience because the facilitators, the location, the land and the participants all change. And then there’s you, always changing, layer by layer. You just can’t step in the same river twice. Two of the three facilitators this week were both longtime sannyasins: one, a green eyed French gypsy man who spent twelve years at Osho’s ashram in India and the other, a Brazilian born global citizen and woman of a certain age who lived in Rajneeshpuram in Oregon for the entirety of its existence as well as intentional communities in Africa, South America and beyond. The third was a young Israeli mystic with undeniable charisma and intrigue. They were informed individually by a life experience rich in travel and mysticism…..of exploring from the sources ancient secrets of sacred practices. The participants ranged greatly in age, experience and nationality but shared a common will, curiosity and dedication to discovering alternative to the establishment. Many of the rituals involve group exploration of the gifts and wisdom accessed through human sexuality and this is what sets ISTA apart from the more familiar seas of therapeutic retreats and sends them into the shadows of the taboo. But this is exactly where ISTA shines, standing proudly in their own light. It is about communion with the divine and sharing those experiences with whoever wants to explore.
These days, he’s more drawn to the cliffs than the sea.
The “Temple Arts” refers to practices and traditions celebrated in some of the ancient tantric temples of Europe and Asia, although there are surviving native keepers of these practices found in many parts of the world. Some of these practices, having been all but completely erased, have gone into secrecy and shadow with the proliferation of oppressive doctrines. Here is an article describing some of these temples in India referenced by the erotic sculptures on the facades. It is a topic of much debate what exactly happened in these temples and distortions of the truth aided by a lack of “evidence” is discussed here. However, many do feel that evidence abounds, not only in archeological and anthropological discoveries, but inside each of us in our very DNA. There is a growing awareness that the shame, guilt and repression focused on human sexuality has lead to much perversion, distortion and trauma. This a major wound in humanity, and the temple arts are practiced to reclaim the beauty of our sexual energy from the manifestations of ugliness, pain and numbness and hold it in celebration with the sacredness of life. The temple isn’t just about sex, but it doesn’t exclude it either. The temple is a place to celebrate any act of conscious expression and I participated in and witnessed the most moving embodiments of music, poetry, dance, dialog, intimacy, laughter, pain, pleasure, and so on…. But the truth is, the earth is the temple, our body is the temple, life is the temple, and all expression, when done with awareness and intention can transmit the divine. You don’t have to drink any Kool-aid or practice any kind of dogma to party with the great spirit but it’s been fascinating to explore the possibilities and find that they are endless.
Kitchen craft
And so another month passes in this life of mine and I go deeper into the practices that allow me to be my own guru in partnership with nature like the tantric arts, somatic body work, womb yoga and herbalism. These practices remove the hierarchy of knowledge and honor the wisdom found within. And as within, so without. As above, so below. These days I find myself more able to practice awareness in the most mundane tasks and extend grace to perceived annoyances. I am discovering what it feels like to have past and future lives, recognizing deeper connections that may have been formed long before I was born into this body, what the potentially “real” impacts are of prayer and how I can create a role for myself that serves my brothers, my sisters and the earth. We go on and on and on.
Breathing it all in.
This month also brought the beginning of Skeets’ and my eighth year together and Phoenix’s fifth birthday. With these two anniversaries every May is especially fertile for our little family. It is a transition month that celebrates the lessons in the changing between spring and summer. I see the layers of us constantly unfolding, each one at our own unique stages of growth and am humbled to be on this journey with them. What an honor! It’s a lot to digest; the pain and pleasure of living. It can be so goddam overwhelming. So once again I draw on Snake medicine which holds that all things are created as equal and that mistakes and hardships can be ingested whole, integrated and alchemized into that which nourishes us. I look at my little family, my mom, my brother and all the beautiful people I’ve met along the way. I breath in the wars, the trauma, the hatred and exhale a little mercy. I taste my own tears and those of my brothers and sisters and feel the salty sea rise up in tides inside of me. I hear a memory echo off the tongue of my beloved and settle into the smell of many skins. Worship is an art and a science and I am the sculptor and the clay, the test tube and the cure.
Shedding some skin. Becoming more like Snake.
May we know that the temple never closes and that we are always the guests of honor.