Over the last few months we’ve watched spring turn to summer. The land, once full of color and vibrancy, has gone to seed and browned. There are still flowers in the shaded woods where we walk, meditate and gather herbs for wildcrafting- wild carrots, fennel, centaurea erythraea and the trees stay full and green giving home to the animals and shape to the wind, but in the exposed pastures where the farmer still grazes his patient cows, all but one one full-sun warrior have mated, seeded and gone to rest for the season. I haven’t yet identified by name this lone source of radiance. It is a tall, proud spire and the intensity of the yellow flowers on the pointed stalk reminds me of wild smiling children on summer vacation. The flowers are cheerful but deceptive as further investigation beneath their carefree faces reveals a thick bush of tough leaves so spiky that even a light brush against them is painful to the skin. A perfect metaphor, perhaps, for many “locals” here in the Algarve as the arrival of summer (with its many tourists) means time to put on a smile. It’s time to work hard and play hard.
All the seasonal business are now open- mostly restaurants and cafes, but there are also small shops selling beach stuff, bohemian clothes from India and Thailand, beautiful home goods and jewelry from Morocco, and handcrafted products from locals that can be found in pop-up markets and beaches all throughout. Retreat centers are in full-go mode offering experiences like Yoga+surf, Kundalini and Vipassana intensives, digital detoxes and horseback tours. Classes abound- fermenting, painting, surfing, dance, qi gong and kids camps as well as festivals- everything from African music to tantra. There are backpackers and surfers everywhere and at least once a week we pick them up hitchhiking. They climb into the back seat and are always a little surprised and humbled to see P back there happy to share a ride with a friendly stranger. They always look like that yellow warrior flower in the field- bright smiles and sun-soaked, dirty, wild and free.
“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” Audre Lorde
Summer is “full-on,” as we say in the local slang, and we’ve been swept up in the excitement. Skeets finally got all his kiteboarding gear together and has been making sure he gets out at least once a week to ride or surf. He’s also diligently committed to the manly arts, as he calls them. These include domestic tasks like replacing leaking faucets, wiring lights, building shelves and piping irrigation. My mom is closing on her new place this Thursday and has been busy moving and getting all the details sorted out. P is excited about advancing to kindergarten and is busying himself with play dates, art projects, dance parties and his carpentry apprenticeship with Skeets. And Forest Farm Camp is just around the corner. The four of us are offering a two week camp, like the one we created at our place in San Antonio, where we will be practicing and celebrating the homesteading arts with 50 kids.
And me? I’m in deep and remembering to enjoy it. My herbalist mentorship is endlessly intriguing. Poppy is Capricorn from the UK who was born and raised in the little village here where we meet. She has a beautiful new baby and we spend our time together either building up her emergent garden, doing blind herb tincture experiments on ourselves, and spending hours talking about client cases and why she’s chosen the herbal medicines in her prescriptions. Im also one month into a six month intensive course to become a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had no idea what that means, as it’s a fairly new profession, being recognized and protected by the State of California only since 2003. Here’s a little paraphrasing Ive put together from a variety of practitioners I respect and draw inspiration from:
Sexological Bodyworkers and Somatic Sex Educators are sexologists who offer experiential learning opportunities that consciously access profound ecstatic and erotic states. This work is done through a variety of modalities including breath work, intuitive touch, pelvic release work, scar tissue remediation, massage, erotic trance and coaching. They offer guidance, support and education that is highly trauma informed and fully inclusive so that couples, individuals and groups can self-empower through embodiment and the healing power of pleasure.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Audre Lorde
The coursework requires TONS of reading, writing, watching, reflection and practice and my mind is stretched to the limit on the regular. It involves much learning and understanding of anatomy, physiology, neuroscience and mind body medicine as well as radical inquiries supported by the many fields of psychotherapy. But mostly it involves consistent PRACTICE. There are countless embodiment exercises ranging from guided visualizations to more physical explorations and I’ve found them each to be welcomed adventures that are making my life ever more interesting and vivid as I continue to peel away the layers of my own traumas to expose the lessons and gifts beneath. The work of somatic sex educators and bodyworkers often kicks in where traditional talk therapy ends. Many clients find themselves coping well and functional but still feeling that something is missing. They are looking for the magic and this practice is designed to help them reignite it in themselves. I’ve far from figured it out, but I am cooking up a practice for myself (with the help of my soul-sister Liz Jurewicz acting as my official creative coach) that unifies all of my passions, skills and crusades. My practice is politically, socially and spiritually motivated. It will be an invitation to heal and feel and love that blends communion with nature, land restoration, the homesteading arts, herbal medicine, sexual exploration and liberation, art therapy and expressive erotic arts. It will be the living and shared embodiment of the Magical Mundane. I believe in this work and I feel encouraged that I can be an instrument of the divine by dedication to it’s practice. The Dalai Lama said, “The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds.” And so I dance ahead into the shadows, sifting through the shame and repression, the guilt and the perversions. I hold up the judgements- the ideas of “right” and “wrong”, and they disappear into the light. I examine it all and consider the position that all is holy. Our perceived shadows are only distortions of our divinity made dirty by the oppressive hands of the puritanically righteous. If we are to rise above the tides of greed, bigotry, destruction and corruption we must know ourselves as embodiments of the divine and act accordingly…as one with each other and the ALL. How to make this practice the most radical, that is, the most egalitarian is still to be determined. But this is my path as it’s unfolded. There is much to do but I remember to make time for my iconoclast saints and muses. We go to the cliffs and stare out into infinity, we watch the moon and connect to her cycles and we find opportunities to play in wildpersonhood with our brothers and sisters through dance, laugher and community. And of course, we make love and we dream.
“I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.” Audre Lorde
Everyone is asleep and our home is quiet. I crawl upstairs into my kiva and prepare for a cleansing. The candles are lit; two tonight, one white and one red- purity and passion, truth and courage. There will also be two invocation cards. On the left, ruled by the right brain is Mother Earth. She is the triple goddess and together they nurture the home where I feed my intuition, creativity and eroticism. On the right, ruled by the left brain is father sky. He is my protector, my adventurer, he who bushwhacks through the jungle of my overgrown thoughts and forges ever- bravely forward. “I seek insights on balance,” I whisper as I intuitively rearrange the stones, fossils and herbs. “How shall I balance the urges of my creativity while providing for my worldly obligations?” I pinch off some lavender and estevas from the dried bundle, hold them over the flames until they catch and drop them into the shelled copper tea pot. As the smoke swirls up and around I pull the veil down over my face. Through the red cloth I watch the smoke dance and call in the oracle. “Oracle, tell me…Who shall be my guides and mirrors as I uncover my path forward?” I breath in the herbs turned to smoke and let my gaze rise to the moon blood caracol that represents this cycle. The cards shuffle themselves in my hands and when it’s time to draw, they know. Lizard in contrary on the left and once again, horse on the right. Dreams and Power. Lizard medicine: the ability to look into my subconscious and dreamscapes to find what is true about the future and recognize in that shadow place what it is I fear that is holding me back. And Horse. The medicine of Power. Not unbridled, destructive, self-serving power, but the true power that comes from sharing one’s gifts and honoring others paths walked in compassion.
“…the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.” Audre Lorde
I invite you now to take one deep breath and let it out in an audible exhale.
May we honor ourselves as manifestations of the divine and know humanity as The Great Hall of Mirrors.